Black book entry 12 August (SAD)

well..
1 week n 1/2 for SBE is quite tiring...
the feelings are all mixed up.. i dunnoe why..
i'm happy yet i'm mad at the same tyme..
i'm excited yet i'm afraid..
it's not an easy job for me to handle the students (all boys studs)...
coz they are playful, naughty, easily off tasks (almost at all the times)....blablablabla...
hmm...
but..
somehow..i think..
SBE is not the real prob dt in my mind now act..
it's about something else...
i dunnoe..
it just makes me to think back..
whether wut i'm doing now is right or wrong..
whether i should surrender my feelings now..
or should i just wait?
i dunnoe whether it's worth for me to stay..to keep this feeling inside..
am i choosing the right decision?
am i in the right path?
before today..
i think i am brave enough...
but now..i'm not sure anymore..
i'm starting to doubt my own decision..
oh god..please show me a sign...
that's all i can ask for now..